South Park: The Fractured But Whole

• Developers: Ubisoft, Ubisoft San Francisco, South Park Digital Studios LLC
• Publisher: Ubisoft
• Genre: Adventure, RPG
• Players: 1
• Platforms: Xbox One (Reviewed), Playstation 4, Microsoft Windows, Switch
• Release Date: 17th October 2017
• Microtransactions: No

SJW Assemble!!

Are you a South Park fan? Are you victim to feelings of offence? Do you have a penchant for ass jokes? These 3 questions need to be answered before playing South Park: The Fractured But Whole. The correct answers to get the most out of this little game are Yes, No, Yes. Other variations of answers can gleam you some entertainment. No, No, Yes for example will tide you over very well, if a little tiring, which is the same as Yes, No, No…

That’s enough of that, for transparency for this review, I’m in the Yes, No, Yes camp here.

Much has been made about the alleged difficulty select screen. This is where you choose your skin colour. White being easy and black being difficult. When in actual fact this doesn’t effect the games difficulty. It’s a joke about how reactionary people are (Mainly SJW types whom feel they need to scream and shout about everything). If this joke has caused offence, then please understand you are the joke. I did my research… 95% of the articles I found raging on this are written by white folk. Virtue has been signalled.

Holey Rusted Butt hole

On to the game… it certainly looks South Park, animated and voiced exactly as the cartoon series. You play as the new kid in the town, starting off seemingly at the end of stick of truth. Cartman, now bored of playing a fantasy game, has arrived as his superhero alter ego The Coon. Convinces everyone to join in and now we are all super heroes.

The story doesn’t really go anywhere beyond the super hero thing. Which does get stale pretty quickly. Here in lies my problem with South Park The Fractured But Whole, the game is long winded. Extremely funny in parts (again provided this is your sense of humour), but the repetitive nature of the missions and the length of the game does drag the game down to boring.

I’m sure Matt and Trey felt this themselves, as the game references multiple times the time constraints on the production of this game. Even mocks it’s lack of depth over the first game.

Overall this South Park game took me a little over 25 hours to finish. There were periods of 3 or 4 days of not playing it because of game fatigue.

I Fart On Your Face

The combat system feels very similar to Stick Of Truth (from what I’d played of it), turn based battles, sometimes requiring real strategy to compete. I’m not familiar with the differences between South Park The Fractured But Whole and Stick Of Truth, I’ll update this review once I’ve played Stick Of Truth properly.

Combat is amusing, with some very funny super moves. You’ll fight multiple opponents during most battles, occasionally fighting bosses with a slight twist on the mechanic such as try to exit the area, or feed a beasty.

You unlock different allies during the game to allow you a party of up to 4 heroes to kick ass.

Power-ups and trinkets are earned or found which give you and your team buffs. I can’t say I noticed much besides a health boost or drop.

Who Is The Coon?!

There’s not much else that can be said about South Park The Fractured But Whole… It’s a interactive South Park series. Which I found very funny at times, and other times tedious.
As I mentioned earlier, the game states a few times that they never had enough time to properly flesh out the story on with this game, and you feel it.

Overall if you’re a South Park fan, you’ll enjoy it, just play it in hour long stints though otherwise the back and forth nature of the game type becomes pretty monotonous.

PROS

• Funny (obviously objective)
• Looks and feels exactly like South Park
• Combat is solid and surprisingly deep

CONS

• Long… so very long
• Gets stale
• The ending falls really flat

VERDICT

6.5/10

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The Evil Within 2

• Developers: Tango Gameworks
• Publisher: Bethesda Softworks
• Genre: Survival Horror
• Players: 1
• Platforms: Xbox One (Reviewed), Playstation 4, Microsoft Windows
• Release Date: 13th October 2017
• Microtransactions: No

Love, Building On Fire

In The Evil Within 2 you play as Sebastian Castellanos, the hero from the first game. Haunted by the memory of your daughter being burned to death in a house fire. You are racked with guilt over the fact you couldn’t help her. Your partner Kidman (who has a great ass by the way) contacts you and tells you you daughter is alive, she is the core of the STEM. The STEM being the shit hole mental realm that Sebastian survived in the first game, he’s not overly chuffed about going back.

So whilst being tore apart with guilt, and still stilling with all the PTSD you can shake a stick at, Seb is sent into the STEM to recover her. That’s your set-up

Burning Down The House

The Evil Within 2 starts with it’s camera up your ass, before attempting a little bit of heart string tugging. You see your home in front of you… We I assume it’s your home, Sebastian can be a bit of a mentalist, so he could be prepping for a home invasion. The house is a blaze, you run toward the building, panic! Your daughter is inside!! double panic as you move the camera…DEAR GOD it’s horrible. Smash through the window, up the stairs SWEET BABY JESUS this camera is hideous in enclosed areas, like say the house you are forcing me through straight away. You get to your daughters room and hit full blown in the face poor voice acting 101. A ghostly daughter arrives and we are dealt fake out #1 of the game.

Welcome to The Evil Within 2, the intro did nothing for me, but it’s there as the platform of motivation, it doesn’t have the weight of The Last Of Us, but very few games achieve that kind of emotional pain.

Now the first Evil Within was a complete and utter mess (in my opinion), so I wasn’t overly confident that much will have changed in this one. The camera crawling up my ass, the floaty turning and the fake out so early on. Honestly I was concerned…

Psycho Killer

Along comes chapter 2, pretty visuals are about. Some very heavy Twin Peaks influence in the look of this level. With a main villain slowly being introduced to us, an artist whom takes a snap shot at the point of death. Trapping the victim in a perpetual loop of the last few seconds of their life. I like it, but still nervous, not down to the atmosphere, just nervous the game will at any moment just screw itself out of the good will it’s earning from me.

We carry on, having some very nice visuals. Not pretty looking sweeping vistas like Horizon Zero Dawn, but more murderous and differently pretty. Stepping into chapter 3 was when the game itself truly begins.

Taking it’s cues from Resident Evil 4‘s intro, chapter 3 has you coming across some strangely possessed individual, and having to dispatch them. Then moving onto to a loving nod at the village opening in Resident Evil 4. We are then given a open piece of the world to investigate. At this point I had a smile on my face. You can taste the RE4 heritage in the game, Shinji Mikami seems to have hit his stride again. But will it hold out?

Slippery People

The Evil Within 2 plays in multiple ways. You have open(ish) world sections, where exploring is a must. Linear point A to point B levels, and heavy stealth sections.

Stealth played apart in the first game, but was ultimately pointless as I recall, this game really ramps it up, especially in the early game when you and your weapons are weak. Sneaking around and getting those stealth kills is really important because you want that sweet sweet green gel.

The enemy A.I is very squiffy, I played on default difficultly (Survival) and found their detection a bit hit and miss. There’s nothing more frustrating than sneaking up like a filthy ninja, only to get within kill range and the shit bag notice you. In the later game this doesn’t matter so much because your more upgraded, and have better weapons to dispatch the zombie shit-bags.

During the game you come across a few pure stealth sections or “feck up and you will die” sections. Having not played them on the hardest difficulty yet, they were manageable, I can imagine these being a utter pain in the ass at higher difficulties. You can upgrade your stealth sneak ability, which leads me on to…

Memories Can’t Wait

Upgrades return from the previous game yay! You must collect green gel from fallen foes, then spend that lovely sticky icky on making yourself a better person.

You have skill trees to upgrade, Health, Agility, Recovery, Stealth and Combat.

All pretty much self explanatory, with the occasional “special” ability you can unlock by fully upgrading a path.

Along with upgrading your body and mind, you can pimp your weapons too. Reload Speed, Rate Of Fire, Capacity and Power. I like being able to upgrade my weapons throughout a game, tis fun. Although, for fully upgrading a weapon, you don’t unlock a special perk with that weapon (like in Resident Evil 4).

But you do unlock special buffs for the Warden. What’s the Warden? It’s this game crossbow, the previous games crossbow was called Agony. Name change is all I noticed, but not having the first game seared into my brain I could be wrong.

You get various bolts throughout The Evil Within 2, to help dispatch the baddies. All with different traits such as: Explosive, Freeze, Shock, Smoke and Harpoon. When you upgrade these to the max, they get a perk eg. the Harpoon bolt at max upgrade adds fire to it attack. So these thing are pretty sweet.

My first play through, I just used the pistol, the laser sighted pistol, max upgraded. Until, I unlock the revolver, then that was it.

Houses In Motion

The Evil Within 2 is a far superior game compared to it’s prequel, it’s a pretty good game by itself. The problems I have with the game are small for the most part. So let’s just tackle them, these are my problems with the game.

The camera can be very very frustrating at times, especially down the corridors and tight rooms. I understand this is to evoke tension but it just feels frustrating.

There are a few enemies in the game, particularly the white women with knives, that get so close that you can’t aim at them, and your regular melee attack often doesn’t phase them. They are close enough, that bringing your weapon up, your arms will actually be aiming past them.

Enemies seem to have invincibility frames, I’ll shoot someone in the head, they go through their “I’ve been shot in the head” animation and immediate follow up shots seem to do no damage.
This happened to me so often, that my tatic became shoot them in the head, wait until they return to default, shoot them in the head. Repeat until dead. It’s a minor annoyance, but an annoyance nonetheless.

One hit kills return, this isn’t to bad. It’s mainly bosses or mini-bosses, so you won’t feel to ripped off.

Final complaint is an odd one…

Born Under Punches

The game takes itself far to serious, deciding to play the straight man all the way throughout. The problem with the serious angle is, if you don’t execute it well things come across poorly.

The voice acting isn’t great, but it not cheesy enough to get a laugh out of it. It’s serviceable to get the story across, yet not enough to evoke emotion. Being as serious as it is, means the atmosphere dark and down. After 2-3 hours of playing though I became desensitized to the “Horrors” around me.

The game never had me scared, this isn’t a macho thing, it just never got to a point where it was scary. The story will tell you time and time again that was you are seeing or experiencing was scary. But, it just wasn’t.

At the beginning it was a little tense, the not knowing. But as I said, after 2-3 hours or so, you’ll be playing this action stealth game just to enjoy the visuals, learn about the story.

And She Was

So with all that said, where do I stand on the game.

I found myself enjoying the story, but not so much the performances of the voice actors or script. The boss fights are a little hit and miss, but overall pretty nice.

My first playthrough took me 22:40:5, I collected 39/40 files, 9/11 slides, 29/32 keys, upgraded all but 3 of my bolts, and nearly completely levelled my character up. The fact that I even bothered to collect these items, and use the term “My first playthrough” should tell you that, overall I enjoyed the game.

Play it for the journey, the story and some nice crazy visuals. Also if you are a Resident Evil 4 fan, this should tick some boxes for you.

PROS

• Some great enemy designs
• Plenty to collect and unlock
• Story is interesting
• Reminds me of Resident Evil 4 (thats a pro for me)

CONS

• Poor voice acting
• Too serious
• Lack of scares

VERDICT

8.1/10

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EA Sports UFC 3

• Developers: EA Canada
• Publisher: Electronic Arts, EA Sports
• Genre: Sports Sim, Beat’em Up, Fighting Game
• Players: 1 – 2
• Platforms: Xbox One (Reviewed), Playstation 4
• Release Date: 2nd February 2018
• Microtransactions: Yes

The Champ Is Here…

So I get EA UFC 3, throw it into my console, 2Gb update… yeah sure crack on. It’s TIME!!!!!……. freeze screen….crashed. Second time lucky lets go mother fuckers!!!! Loads up, picture of Conor MacGregor… Press Any Button to continue.. Let’s get some fighting done… What…wait a user agreement… This game cost me £52.99, there’s next to no effort gone into the box art, and nothing saying I need to sign a contract to play the fucking game I’ve just purchased.

I know plenty of games have this, but isn’t it time it goes. I scroll down the very very lengthy user agreement. I have recently filled court people work in my personal life, the amount of paperwork I filled to sue, was considerably less than the user agreement. That’s fucking outrageous, I have to pay for the game, from a retailer, whom if I take the game back and same the reason I don’t want it is because I have to sign a contact in order to play the game, the store will most likely argue the toss even though it’s my consumer right. Disgusting!

Fuck it, lets play it…

And It’s All Over…

Just like the previous UFC games from EA they have their hands tied as far as aesthetics are concerned. The Reebok deal is still hurting the brand for me, so we have the dull white tiles of the last game only some how less engaging this time around. More tiles than last time implying much more to do…we’ll get to that.

With the only real splash of colour and interest coming from EA advertising their paid for loot boxes for the online ultimate team mode… so I signed a User agreement and paid £52.99 to have you advertise to me? Thank you, I feel like a valued customer.

So game modes lets list them: The words in red are there actual names

• Career Mode (G.O.A.T Mode)
• Vs mode (Fight Now)
• No Take Down Mode (Stand and Bang)
• Knock Down Mode (Knockout Mode)
• Tapout Mode (Submission Showdown)
• Online Pay Us More Money Mode (Ultimate Team)
• Tournament Mode (Tournament Mode)

Plenty to do right? wrong! Let’s have a quick look see at each one

Maybe It’s Time To Retire After Such A Beating

Straight away congratulations on adding a tournament mode, a mode that should have been in the very first game, so waiting 6 years for it was fine. Thank you EA… Anyone remember UFC: Undisputed 3? I do, it was bloody good fun, that had a great tournament mode, in fact it was very highly praised for it. UFC: Undisputed 3 was the last game THQ made before EA got the UFC brand.

EA borrowed much from the mechanics from Undisputed whilst adding, their EA UFC submission thing. You’d think they would have taken the aspects of the aspects of the THQ titles that the fans loved and had them straight away… this is EA we are talking about, they like to parse everything out, and slowly drip feed these features in each iteration under the guise of “new features”.

Here we are 3 games and 6 years into EA owning the brand, and the biggest and best addition is a tournament mode… just a standard tournament, you can’t choose to fight Pride Rules, you can’t choose a different cage. But at least it’s here, and that’s something. One slight little extra with the tournament mode is the loose weight category. Just means that you can fight opponents who aren’t in your weight class normally, bit like the old Pride style weight classes.

Stand and Bang and Knockout Mode just seems to similar it’s stupid. Knockout returns from the previous games, get hit enough you get knocked out. Stand and Bang is the standard game but with takedowns switched off, and shite commentary from Snoop Doggy Dogg… Yes Snoop Dogg, Joe Rogan didn’t want to come back to record more stuff. To be fair I don’t blame him.

Submission Showdown is just submissions to win, bit dull and frustrating to be honest.

What An Embarrassing Loss

The creator character has returned, with no noticeable difference, meaning shit. It’s terrible really is, you can spend hours if you like shaping the face of whomever you want create, only to be let down by a piss poor choice of hair cuts, and pathetic beards, which make your character look like he’s whacked glue on his chin or lip then face planted a barbers floor.

Gameface makes a triumphant fart of a return. I’ve attempted on multiple occasions to create a decent Gameface character, but besides a golf game many years ago, it always fails… Such promise wasted with half assed effort… Seems to be par for the coarse over at the EA headquarters.

Winner By Disqualification

Let’s have a quick chat about the career mode. Is it better than UFC 2? Yeah-ish. This year you start in the minor leagues instead of The Ultimate Fighter. WFA is you’re home, after you’ve won a couple of fights it’s off the UFC. I would have preferred fighting in the WFA, then moving into the TUF house, onto the UFC and making a move for the title but no. It’s all rather rapid.

Gone are the training mini games of old, instead opting for a known amount of stat increase, with the potential to injure yourself, and receiving a de-buff for the next fight. The an extra addition they’ve put into the career mode is social media, you have to hype your fight. Each week of training you have 100 points to spend on either training, learning new moves or social media (mainly twitter). Once you are in the UFC you have contract obligations like turning up for television interviews or other press junkets. You don’t actually do these, the trailer would have you believe you go to weigh ins and the like but nope.

These obligations often cost a lot of your points like 70 or 40. Sometimes, you’re required to do two of them in one week. One will be 70, the other 40, failure to to attend these things will result in you taking a cut in pay for the fight. Now i’m sure you can see that 70 + 40= 110 points, so it’s impossible. It’s things like this that just go to show the lack of play testing.

Dotted through your UFC 3 career the occasional cut scene will play, I witnessed maybe 6, during my 33 fight career, they pretty much dry up once you are the champion. Meaning being a champion doesn’t feel special, you’re best off winning the belt then calling it a day. The only real other thing you can do when you are a champion, they offer you a weight change to fight the champion of that weight class. Two belts woot!

Ultimately, it’s an average Career mode, nothing special, but EA MMA had a more engaging Career…nearly 10 years ago…

Pay Per View, Pay Per Play, Pay To Win…

On to UFC 3’s Ultimate Team Mode… You are give a fighter and set of moves in the form of cards, the fighters are on a set number of fight deal, the are a random level, and so are you’re moves. You fight against other peoples Ultimate Team members, increasing your ranks and earning pseudo money by completing challenges.

Are you getting your ass handed to you over and over again? Give EA money and they will give you more cards consisting of Fighters, moves, and stat boosts… Please fuck off. The problem here is it feel like a money phone game shoe horned into this £52.99 game, not only a mobile phone game, but one that is based around you spending money to get better.

EA have had a hell of a lot of kick over the past 12 months as far as loot boxes and micro-transactions, I know it’s kinda part of the sports model they have, but it’s still not kosher as far as I’m concerned. With so much effort placed around the Ultimate Team mode in UFC 3, it means there’s a large chunk of the game I don’t care for. Another miss.

Final Round

The game looks pretty, moves well (when it’s not staggering), there are a good amount of fighters across two female classes and all the male classes. Some legends are thrown in there to mix it up, but still now Oleg Taktarov, Marco Ruas, Don Frye, Dan Severn or even Bas Rutten. I understand that’s just me wanting them, but most of them have been in the UFC: Disputed games.

Bruce Lee makes a return, apparently the father of mixed martial arts… I beg to differ. But at least Mike Tyson isn’t here this time round.

On the whole I think this is a lesser game than UFC 2. There’s “more” to do this time round, but more nothing is still nothing.

The tournament mode is the only plus point the game has over the previous title. Instead of buying this game, I highly recommend you purchase UFC 2 from a indie game store, you can pick it up for next to nothing nowadays. It’ll keep you entertained if you have folks around,. Just grab a pad and pencil and draw up you’re own tournaments.

There isn’t enough here to warrant the price tag, I’m sure the developers are limited both by EA head sheds and WME as to what they can add to the game. Due to UFC wanting to emit it’s public image as a sport like football, Basketball and Baseball. But by doing so the UFC product looses some if not all of it’s character.

I feel these games would be better given to another developer and WME give them a little more free reign.

I do not recommend EA Sports UFC 3, even if you are a fan of MMA. Get the second one instead.

PROS

• Tournament mode
• Plenty of Fighters

CONS

• Offline game slow down
• No parry’s
• User agreement
• Sparse character creator

VERDICT

4/10

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The Hunter: Call Of The Wild

• Developers: Expansive Worlds
• Publisher: Avalanche Studios
• Genre: Simulation
• Players: 1 or 8 player online
• Platforms: Xbox One (Reviewed), Playstation 4, Steam
• Release Date: 2nd October 2017 (Xbox One, Playstation 4), 16th February 2017 (Steam)
• Microtransactions: None

Rest The Meat Until Room Temperature…

Here we are at TPC Sawgrass, there’s a 135 meter shot from the blind, wind will play a little over such a range. Make sure you aim just behind the front leg, otherwise you’ll be in for a long day. I’d play a .270… Oh deer, oh deer he’s missed, that was startling. It’ll be a long while before a shot lines itself up like that again.

Welcome to The Hunter: Call Of the Wild, a hunting game that leaves you to go hunting… Oh my, what a concept.

Expansive Worlds have tackled a hunting game, with confidence, and respect. Deciding instead of the bombastic story driven mess of the Cabela games, glorifying the mass slaughter of animals. They play more subtle, and simulation like.

The Hunter: Call of The Wild (for consoles at least) has to huge open maps. One themed European, with animals you’d more likely find across the continent, and another themed American. The attention to detail in these environments is beautiful. Dynamic weather and lighting effect how your hunt will go. Rain obscures your vision, but also masks some of the noise you make. Clear bright sunny days mean you can be seen for miles, so take your time. In fact, you should always take your time.

Heat Oil in Frying Pan Until Smoking Hot…

Playing The Hunter: Call Of The Wild is a chilled experience, if you rush around you’ll spook the game, then you may as well be on the moon. There is nothing much else to do in this game except hunt. There is a shooting range on both maps, and you’ll be given micro missions like kill a ‘Whitetail at night’, or take a photo of a ‘Fallow deer’.
These “missions” only seem to be there to try and push you away from your comfort zone, and venture into the wild. Which is a good thing.

Wandering off into unexplored areas is nice, you’ll find old wrecks of buildings and wind farms, with lovely vistas to behold. But you can’t do anything with them, some places maybe nice hunting grounds so stick around, and soak up the atmosphere.

Place Your Steak in Pan and Cook at High Heat For 30 Sec Each Side…

Now you can, and most likely will kill all you see in The Hunter: Call Of The Wild when you first start playing it…hell even when you are 20+ hours in, you’ll take a shot at anything you lay your eyes on. For me this started to feel cheap, the hunt had lost itself, turned into something lacking finesse. It wasn’t the game that had done this, it was me, the player. I had forgotten it’s a simulator.

For those who don’t know, in the states you have to apply for tags, these tags will give you the opportunity to hunt for a certain animal for meat or trophy. You then head out with your Black bear tag, to then hopefully fill up your freezer for a year.

If/when you set yourself personal tags in game, this adds a whole new dimension to the game. Let’s say you and you hunting partner decide at the beginning of the playing session, lets hunt Red Deer Stags only. The hunt becomes real. Your hunting partner or yourself take those snap shots at a Roe Deer Doe 350m away, scaring the animals in the immediate area. Instead, you watch them. Trying not to spook them.

After, and hour or so, you may happen to see a Red Stag standing proud on a ridge, with the sun just dipping behind him, sending god rays through his antlers. looking down your sights, you try and pick that perfect shot. Bring him down quickly (we don’t want to be following blood trails for the next hour), otherwise you may make him run. Meaning an even longer stalking session. Your breathing becomes tense, the sense of the hunt comes through in spades when you play the game like this. Meaning that one kill, feels more rewarding than the mass slaughter of Roe Deer Does.

Medium Heat, Cook For a Further 1 Mins 30 Sec Each Side…

So this game is a hard one to score. Because the tiny unfinished parts actually chip away at the score. The Hunter: Call Of the Wild started right out of the gate as a easy 8.5-9.0/10 game. As you start to settle into the pretty looking world, the cracks creep into view.

What cracks you say? silly ones really, floating stones or patches of grass. Deer running and stopping in trees (this doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s happen often enough for me to mention it here).

Then there’s the clunky and awkward menu system. It feels like it’s not been optimised for consoles. For instance, if you wanted to look at your hunt history, the game shows you a list of what you have killed. Showing approximately 20, with a scroll bar to the side… you’ve no means of getting to that scroll bar. Myself and Mr. Bilsborough tried for a while, but to no avail.

These seemingly tiny issue really frustrate, because they simply shouldn’t be there.

Rest The Meat, Before Serving…

I understand this game isn’t going to be for everyone, I do believe the game does a good job at forcing you to chill the fuck out. The calmer you are as a gamer, the more game rewards you by presenting you stags and bucks. In a paradoxically, if you want more action in The Hunter: Call Of The Wild, slow down.

What The Hunter: Call Or The Wild is to me is simply put, a Zen game. I play the game to wander the beautifully rendered pseudo-Germany or pseudo-America. The game is slow and lovely, with beautiful lighting and immersive sounds (when you turn the music off).

With the addition of a little more polish, and correcting of silly clipping issues like the floating grass, The Hunter: Call Of The Wild would easily be a high 8 or 9. But as it stands, I’ll give it a respectable Show Me Games 7.8.

PROS

• Very nice atmosphere, brought on by the beautiful lighting and sounds.
• Slow, and chilled gameplay which is surprising pleasant in multiplayer.
• The thrill after an hour of stalking a certain species, only to have a beautiful specimen appear is really something special. Tense and fun.

CONS

• Clipping issues, mainly cosmetic.
• A.I can be squiffy at times.
• Clunky menus

OVERALL

7.8/10

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Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus

• Developers: MachineGames
• Publisher: Bethesda Softworks
• Genre: First Person Shooter
• Players: 1
• Platforms: Xbox One (Reviewed), Playstation 4, Switch and Steam
• Release Date: 27th October 2017
• Microtransactions: None

Achtung Baby!

Hello folk and welcome to Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus. Now I’m only really familiar with the original Wolfenstein, and then the subsequent generic crap that came out up until MachineGames‘ Wolfenstein 2014.

I missed Wolfenstein 2014, but was reliably told from sources I trust that it was a fun little number. Roll around E3 2017, Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus trailer spiked my interest. The cut scenes looked mental and over the top, the action visceral. This may be a reason to step back to Wolfenstein.

Along came Mr. Dan Smash, who had a copy of the game, offered it to me for review, and now we are here…

Dam Busters

The game opens up with a rather lengthy cut scene recapping the fuckin’ madness of the previous installment/s. Setting the scene for the chaotic drivel that’s about to unfold over the next 10-13 hours.

Once the visual assault has finished, you are then given a intro in the style of a flashback, to when you where a little boy. You are on your bed sobbing, a caring mother comforting a poor frightened child, only for your abusive father to come home and generally be a dick. This here is Wolfenstein attempting pathos… For me it didn’t work, came across forced especially after the madness recap (more on this later).

Then whack! You are in, you are B.J. Blazkowicz, the same chap from every other Wolfenstein game, and why not. Due to the events of the last game, you are captured and without the use of your legs.

This intro level has you control Mr. B.J as you are being attacked aboard a ship, all whilst scooting about using a wheel chair. It was fun, stupid, but fun.

Nazi Gold

Whilst you are bipedal-ly impaired, the standard level of health is 50… I figure, ok, makes sense, I’m injured how clever. It’ll just last this one level… it does not last just one level.

Now being the ass clown that I am, this started to bug me, yes I get that it’s just a number. But after 30 years of gaming 100 is my full health situation. You can over-health yourself all the way up to 200, then your health cools down back down to the 50 of my bane.

Wolfenstein, why do you toy with my mind like so. It’s a small annoyance, that after a few hours of gaming does start to really piss me off. Fortunately for the sake of my sanity this gets resolved due to utter fucking madness during the course of the story. Yay!

Iron Sky

Let’s touch on the gameplay shall we before talking story.

The shooting mechanics are solid, the guns feel like they are firing hot pieces of pointy metal as they should. Action is fast and frantic, plenty of gore and dismemberment… which is always fun.

Axes are used as the melee weapon, to a very gory end. In fact, I’m pretty sure I just ran up to most enemies and axed them to death… it’s rather satisfying.

There’s a mild levelling up system, which give you buffs. So say, get X amount of head shots, and head shots do more damage. Kill folk with explosives you take less explosive damage. Simple things like that.

Every one of your main arsenal has 3 upgrade slots, with their own specific upgrades. For instance your pistol has a silencer, magnum rounds and extended magazine, whilst the Strumgewehr has a scope, armour piercing rounds and a quick reload magazine. These do really make a difference, and are very much welcome when you find one.

Later in the game you get to choose between three “power-ups” of sorts. One, allows you to constrict yourself though small holes, and help stealth. A piece of shoulder armour, which allows to you charge at folks and breakable objects like a bull. Finally some extend-o-legs, which allow you to be…taller? Now, don’t fear if you feel you have chosen poorly, the other power-ups can be found during side missions, provided you speak to the relevant NPC on the Sub.

After plugging through a few levels, the manic pace of combat and lack of new weaponry started to feel stale to me. Add to that, the level designs are often a confusing mess as to the direction I should be going. Bringing the kinetic pace to a sudden deflating stop.

New Orleans especially had me walking in circles, pouring more water over the already ebbing feeling of this game. Only to then finish a level, and be greeted with an entertaining cut-scene.

The Not See Party

Story…tone deaf I think is the phrase here. As mentioned at the top on of the review, Wolfenstein tries hitting you with pathos right from the off, but only goes and undermines everything with trying to be wacky.

You’ll probably hear a lot of people claiming the game is Tarantino-esque, it isn’t. The writing isn’t clever enough. It must be something to do with Inglorious Basterds, which simply means it has Nazi in it. I’m honestly baffled when this is brought up. It’s got more in common with They Live than Tarantino.

Through the first half of the game Mr. B.J laments during the levels, because he’s gonna die and not see his unborn children. Then the game thinks fuck it, this is getting a bit tired, lets go mental instead. Then you get something crazy (funny, entertaining don’t get me wrong) which resolves everything. Almost, like they’d written themselves into a corner.

The leader of your uprising dies early on, so you do a mission recuse a couple named Grace and Super Spesh… Next scene Grace is in charge… Wait, what, why?!?

This is Wolfenstein, trying to hard to be crrrrraaaaazy. It is funny, don’t get me wrong, there’s a few laughs here.

The father story arch from the beginning of the game, is sort of just thrown at you. To be wrapped up, again like they’d written themselves into a corner…

My favourite moments in the game are when you don’t have to fight.

Two scenes stand out to me:

One is walking through the streets to deliver Macguffin #23568. You see a small town under Nazi rule, with the KKK standing proud on the street corners and generally acting like twats. It’s funny seeing them being put in their places by the Germans. This level reminded me of Die Hard on the Gamecube, not an amazing game, but had some great little concepts.

The other is much later where we meet the Fuhrer himself… his frustration and lack of caring at that point of the game echoed with me, I found I had sympathy for digital Hitler.

A New Dawn

Upon completion I breathed a sign of relief. It was done, a decent ending, extremely open ended mind. But I was glad it was over, I enjoyed what I’d played, thanks and goodbye.

Wolfenstein was a mixed bag really, as much as I may have seemed to have really hated it, that’s not the case. The core game is competent, there’s plenty of collectables. The voice acting is fantastic (it’s the script that’s the problem). The graphics are pretty, and there’s some very entertaining sections.

It’s just, with it trying so hard to be edgy and wacky all at the same time, the two didn’t compliment each other that well. Maybe over a shorter game, but running me just over 13 hours to complete. I felt Wolfenstein fatigue by the end, unfortunately knocking what could have been an 8 down a little.

Each level breaks down into, find the commanders kill them to stop the alarm, next section, rinse and repeat. There are some very short side missions, and then you can kill the Uber commanders. You unlock these, by collecting Enigma cards from dead commanders. These missions are just go kill this commander. Very simple, take about 5-10 mins. Nice little extra killing if you don’t need a rest.

PROS

• Gun play has a nice feel in short bursts
• Voice acting is great
• Nice graphics

CONS

• Repetitive
• Repetitive
• Same stuff again and again

VERDICT

7.5/10

The post Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus appeared first on Show Me Games - Independent Gaming Site, and Community.

Wulverblade

• Developers: Fully Illustrated, Darkwind Media
• Publisher: Darkwind Media
• Genre: Side Scrolling Beat ’em Up
• Players: 1-2 (campaign), 1-2 (survival)
• Platforms: Switch (Reviewed), Xbox One, Playstation 4, and Steam
• Release Date: 12th October 2017 (Switch), Steam and Playstation 30th January 2018, Xbox One 31st January 2018
• Microtransactions: None

Ryse

Welcome to Roman occupied Britain 120AD. The Romans are pushing north into Caledonia, 3 Heroes say “Ack! Ney!” to that, whilst eating tatties and neeps they fight back against the Roman might.

Wulverblade is an unashamed classical side scrolling beat’em up. You have lives, you have weapon pick ups, and you have special moves. The things that help define Wulverblade however are somewhat surprising.

Triarii

Wulverblade offers 3 characters to choose from:

Caradoc, 6ft 2in, of angry family man not willing to give up his land or freedom to these foreign invaders. He is the main character of the game.

Brennus, 6ft 7in of beastly brawn, Caradocs brother, the powerhouse and main damage dealer of the pack.

Then, last but certainly not least we have Guinevere, 5ft 9in, deft and lethal with her blade. The younger sister holds her own against the legion.

As with multi-character beat’em ups each character has slightly different stats, and attack types.

Caradoc stats are pretty even on stats with a slight edge towards defense. He is the main character after all, so you’d expect this.

Brennus is extremely biased toward power, with agility and speed being quiet frankly awful. Playing through, that speed became a serious hinderance.

Guinevere, poor power, excellent speed and agility, and with defence comparable to Brennus. Her speed helps greatly especially, with her juggle mechanic (sounds rude).

9th Legion

So on to the combat mechanics (should be short and sweet this one). You have Attack, Strong Attack, Block, and Jump simple. Now something that confused me a little at first (mainly because I didn’t read up on it), your Strong Attack button doesn’t do anything until you pick up a weapon to Strong Attack with. I am stupid, so that is the answer for that. Just thought I’d mention it, because there are a few folk like me out there.

Ok, moving onwards, your block isn’t just a defensive shield in Wulverblade, oh no, you can counter/parry your opponents. Which in the later game becomes very necessary to survive. This happens by pressing your block at the right at the point the enemy hits you. Your character flashes red, and you gain an attack bonus for a few seconds. In those seconds, cut the bastards arms and legs off.

Jumping is more of an avoidance tactic I found, but depending of your character you can cause juggles, which are always fun.

The game litters the floor with items either for points, or weaponry, such as: Arms, heads, seax knife, Spartha, pilums and more. You can use these to throw at your opponents. Other weaponry can be found, which then allows use of the Strong Attack. These weapons often have special attributes like recover health, or armour piercing. Be mindful when using these weapons, as the break with over use. Also, should you get hit whilst holding one, you will drop it, meaning you’ll have to pick it up again.

Wulverblade allows the arcade stable for beat’em ups, an area of effect (AOE) attack. Just like it should be pressing Attack and Jump at the same time damages all those in close proximity, but at a health cost to the player. Sometimes however, you need to tell Romans to back off no matter the cost.

Finally, you have your bomb attack. Call of the wolves, you bellow your battle cry and a pack ferocious wolves come charging in to gnaw on the enemies flesh! Pretty cool, you only have one though, so use it wisely.

The Boggart Of Darwen Barrow

Wulverblade is a pretty looking game, it’s got a very definite art design. The characters are nice and chunky, very cleanly drawn, and well animated. The backgrounds and levels are pretty.

As you play through the levels, the game although being a 2d game as far as sprites are concerned. Does use parallaxing to it’s artistic advantage. You’ll have characters running past in the foreground out of focus, even in the far background. One level has an archer running in the distance, turning and shooting at you, this works very well.

The music is also fitting. Wulverblade is a passion project by a chap named Michael Heald of Fully Illustrated.  Mr. Heald designed each character, came up with the story concept, and put in the leg work for each step of the way, for the past 5 years.

A unique thing about Wulverblade, is the heart. Whenever you play a level you unlock a little production piece or video. These for me are the gems of the game. You are given mini history lessons, pictures and videos of Roman forts and settlement remains in mainland Britain. This is a where a bias comes out in me, and It would be remiss of me if I didn’t admit it. I love history, I love these lands. I love the uniqueness of each country within these lands.

Wulverblade, makes me want to have many a road trip.

The sites in this game are in driving distance of my home. I’m inspired by this passion project, to visit these sites, and the feel the land myself.

Woden Law

Enough gushing, unless it’s Romans blood.

The game is played out over 8 levels. Taking about, 15-20mins each. Wrapping up with a boss fight. I’ve played the game Co-op to completion, which is fun. Certainly the way the game was intended to be played. It would be great if with an update you could play 3 player co-op. But it could get a little to chaotic.

Playing the game single player become pretty difficult near the end, especially the finally boss. I simply couldn’t do him on my own. I don’t profess to be the greatest gamer, so you may defeat him easily.

Other game modes include Arcade, which is as it implies. Turns the game into an arcade game, by that you are limited to 3 lives, and 3 continues. There isn’t a travel map, just cutscenes and Roman slaughter.

Wulverblade also gives you an Arena mode. Play solo or co-op slaying wave upon wave of baddies to set the worlds highest score.

The game feels like a perfect fit on the Switch. Adam brought his Switch to Play Expo and we just clicked the joycons out and smashed a few levels of sat there. Was great. (Adam lent me his Switch for this review, this game and Zelda have sold me on the Switch).

Overall

Wulverblade is a great beat’em, the extra content makes it worth it alone to me. The cost of a game can often shape my scoring. There is enough here to have fun with certainly. Especially co-op, grab a mate, a few beers a take-away bash through Wulver. But if this game was £35+ I’d of expected a bit more content. As it happens £14.99 in the UK, is a great price. Adding the much coveted value for money accolade.

I was fortunate enough get a review code. This game is certainly worth £14.99 if only to support the dev. I’ll be picking a random Show Me Games group member and purchasing Wulverblade for them.

PROS

• Fantastic graphics
• British history and lore
• Co-op gameplay
• Value for money

CONS

• Can lose track of character in the melee
• Some cheap hits

VERDICT

8/10

The post Wulverblade appeared first on Show Me Games - Independent Gaming Site, and Community.

Ark: Survival Evolved

• Developers: Studio Wildcard, Instinct Games, Virtual Basement, Efecto Studios
• Publisher: Studio Wildcard
• Genre: RPG
• Players: 1-75
• Platforms: PC, Playstation 4, Xbox One
• Release Date: June 2015 (Early Access)
• Microtransactions: None

Goodbye Life

Thrown on to Jurassic Park island! That’s how it feels anyway. Let’s jump in on the beautiful game that is Ark: Survival Evolved. Let’s start with what this game is lacking…any story whatsoever! There is nothing when you begin, no cut scene, no tutorial no nothing. Or there wasn’t when I’ve been playing it. I know it’s still in testing blah blah it’s been like that for years. A little something would have been nice.

Now I have let off some steam with that let’s get in to the gameplay, you wake up with nothing and a little bit of cloth to cover your bits, not knowing what to do or where to go, your first spawn could even be next to an aggressive dinosaur, where you die horribly in seconds and have to spawn in again. Once that is over with and you are in a safe spot, you can check out the beautiful scenery and how to play the game.

Punch trees and pick up rocks to get some materials, make yourself a pick and hatchet to help harvest them, level up in the lower levels nice and quick aaaaaaaaaaaand you are starving or dehydrated…run in to the water to drink, punch dodos to death and cook their meat on a campfire, you do what you have to to survive.

It’s a steep learning curve but you get used to it, a few levels in and you realise you can assign engrams to make some cool stuff! Melee weapons, ranged weapons, clothes, structures it’s all there, this is where you look at what you can unlock at level 80 and realise you have to get it! Goodbye life and hello ark!

Hello Ark

It’s got some glitches and it’s not perfect but this is one addictive game, started on the PC over a year ago and now it’s on console, it’s hard to get away. You build a 2x2x2 house out of thatch with a campfire and a storage box, realise you can upgrade the house to wood, then stone, then metal…you can make the house bigger, add floors, ladders, hatches, dinosaur gates for your tamed dinos, it goes on. It’s a builders dream, you just need to make sure you are in the right area and T Rex doesn’t walk past every 5 minutes.

Once you get to grips with the engrams and building its time to look at the fun stuff…the dinosaurs! Yeah that’s right you can tame the things, although it’s not easy and it’s not quick. You need to get your hands on some narcotics, which come from the plants dotted around everywhere, make yourself some narcotic arrows or stick to just beating a dinosaur unconscious with a club. Now comes the mind numbing task of taming the dinosaur, where you need the narcotics to keep it unconscious, and some food so it likes you. Then there’s the task of making sure no other player kills it or a wild dino kills it.

3 hours later, 400 bits of food and 300 narcotic berries and you have a dinosaur! Might be a slight exaggeration but that’s what happens later on when you tame higher level better dinos. The lower end ones usually take 5 minutes to an hour max.

Fast forward a week, you have a massive house with many floors, 25 dinosaurs all called something like Dave or Daisy, having a total of 12 hours sleep in 7 days, Ark life has kicked in. Once you get to around level 30 the dinosaurs open up a bit more, you can craft saddles for a lot of them and realise you can now get a saddle for a pteradon, it’s time to fly!

This in itself is great but it causes more problems, you find a better spot for your base, on the other side of the map! I think we relocated 4 times…it’s never fun.

Tribal Mentality

Playing on the online servers you can make a tribe for you and your buddies to get together and make mansions, group up to take down bigger and better dinos, or just watch each other die horribly and launch an arrow to their knee. Again this has a downside…others can do the same and others can blow holes in your base and steal everything you have worked hard for, killing Dave in the process (RIP little buddy). This game on PVP can be harsh, very harsh. But you pick yourselves up, fortify the base, add defences and try again, taming bigger and better dinos and leave them on aggressive so if it happens again the dinos get to play.

You start to become a master at this game and wonder what else the ark game offers, baby dinosaurs! Yes, that’s right you can play some Barry White and have them mate. Combining the stats of the mum and dad dino to create one with better stats, also just look at them!

Raising a baby dino is like taming an adult one, but 10 times harder and 10 times longer, I think I had to keep one fed for 2 days…2 days! It was worth it in the end and my Argentavis bird called Argelina Jolie is a beast. Get creative with them names! Dodo Baggins (Dodo), Ptaylor Swift (Pteradon), the list goes on…or just Dave (RIP little buddy)

I would definitely say grab a pick and have a bash at this game, it’s not for everyone, but I am most definitely addicted.

PROS

• In depth building
• Taming dinos
• Graphics

CONS

• No real story
• No tutorials

Verdict

8/10

The post Ark: Survival Evolved appeared first on Show Me Games - Independent Gaming Site, and Community.

Tekken 7

• Developer: Bandai Namco Studios
• Publisher: Bandai Namco Entertainment
• Genre: Fighting
• Players: 1-2
• Platforms: PC, Playstation 4, & Xbox One
• Release Date: 2nd June 2017
• Microtransactions: Yes

Back to form

I have been a fan of the series since its console birth back in the PS1 days and although my attention waned in the last few iterations, Tekken 7 piqued my interest.

She’s Purty!

The one thing I can say that few will argue with is that the Tekken series has improved aesthetically fairly well with every game in the series and this one is no different, it looks absolutely stunning from the character modelling, to the gorgeous backgrounds, and some really fun destruction that isn’t new by any stretch but a welcome addition nonetheless.

Choices, Choices

After the backlash of Street Fighter V having no arcade mode, Tekken has made sure that it has come out of the starting blocks with plenty of content.  There is now an almost Mortal Kombat-esque story mode, which is bloody difficult in places and is good to keep you busy for a few hours and tells an interesting side of the Mishima story which I thoroughly enjoyed.  There is a standard arcade mode that isn’t massively long but it lets you get a feel for some of the 30+ characters that you may not be familiar with.  Then of course there’s the online mode, I found this to work pretty well not having to wait long for a match.  There is an endless “Treasure Battle” mode which has you fighting over and over again earning you fight money and unlocking various character customisation items which I will talk about more later, this actually made me play this mode far longer than I expected to.  Last of all there are character stories for each character which give a little backstory for each character although these are frightfully short and a little disappointing.

Fight the World

The online battles are where the experience can vary wildly.  I am a fairly competent, albeit fairly basic, Tekken player as I peaked in the days of Tekken 3.  Online I would either do quite well or, more often than not, get my ass handed to me by people who know the long combos that juggle you to death.  You can either play single matches or enter tournaments for fight money prizes.

Normally getting beaten repeatedly would leave me pretty frustrated but fighting games have evolved a lot over the years and I simply have not go the time to keep up and if I devoted enough time into truly learning some of the combo’s and the all important reversals, I could end up as a reasonably competitive player but alas time is a precious resource these days.

Sadly Pointless

I got quite excited when I picked up the game and saw the “Playstation VR Compatible” banner across the top.  I really shouldn’t have bothered.  There are 2 uses.  First one is an endless battle where you simply fight in a vast open space with no health bars just more of a practice arena.  The second is to view the character models.  Both of these are pretty pointless and were a completely needless addition.

Bling!

The last thing I want to mention is the character customisation.  There is quite simply the highest amount of character customisation that I have ever seen in a fighting game, all purchased with in-game currency or unlocked with the treasure battle mode.  You can completely change the look of any of the characters, some pretty drastically which I quite enjoyed.  I ended up with a leather-clad Paul Phoenix wearing chaps and a knights helmet looking like some sort of fetish gimp.  I chuckled to myself with it anyway!

PROS

• Good story mode
• Fantastic character customisation
• Overall lots of content for a beat ‘em up

CONS

• Character stories are woefully short
• Akuma is a bitch

Verdict

8/10

(PS4 Version used for review)

The post Tekken 7 appeared first on Show Me Games - Independent Gaming Site, and Community.

Mass Effect: Andromeda

• Developers: BioWare
• Publisher: Electronic Arts
• Genre: Action RPG
• Platforms: Xbox One (Reviewed), Playstation 4, Microsoft Windows
• Release Date: 21st March 2017
• Microtransactions: Yes

Veteran Of The Reaper Wars

Mass Effect

I’m a full battle tested veteran of the Reapers wars. A former spectre for the Citadel. Liaising with the other species of the Milk Way. Asari, Turian, Hanar, Elcor, Salarians, Krogan, Volus, Humans, Quarians, Batarians. Broke down historical boundaries to make contact with the Rachni, Collectors and the long thought lost Protheans. Hunted Thresher Maws with Krogans, and had telepathic communication with the Reapers themselves.

First Contact happened with the Geth around 2183. Shortly after the Citadel was attacked by a lone Reaper.  Our first taste of the potential destruction of our known galaxy.

Galactic Readiness

The first game was great, with all of your interactions with the other species, building up the lore and at around 30hrs for my first play-through didn’t feel too baggy. The second game did me for 24hrs. Tweaks to the combat made the game a little more geared to that aspect. Added great things to the story, and one of the most devastating final missions I’ve ever played. Leading into the final game. This took me 20+hrs to finish.

Completing the trilogy with a character I crafted. With decisions made by me affecting future relationships throughout the games was special. Having bonding moments with some characters only for them to die in your story, but not in others. This added a weight to the choices you make. Add to that a morality meter swinging from Paragon to Renegade. Depending on which way you lean, would open different or extra dialogue trees. Again, adding to the illusion of player agency in the world and story.

At the end of my 70 something hours across the trilogy, I felt I’d had an effect. The lofty status I had, I’d earned. The ultimate end fell flat. But the rest of it was a quality piece of work.

Even with the terrible bugs, facial animation and clipping.

Andromeda Bound

USS Franchise Killer

Mass Effect: Andromeda takes place 600+ years after 2185.

4 species from the Milky Way Galaxy have decided to send “Arks” with their people in. Salarians, Turians, Asari and Humans all have an “Ark”. Ahead of the Arks being sent, a hub for them sent first, the Nexus. This Nexus will arrive shortly before the Arks, and become the Andromedas make shift Citadel.

The Arks have been sent to populate 7 “Golden Worlds” once they arrive. That brings us to the beginning.

You play as Male or Female Ryder, a colonist that has been awaken because you’ve arrived at the Andromeda Galaxy, and all is not well. We come across strange gaseous tendrils in space, surrounding one of the “Golden Worlds”. We must investigate, because reasons!

Landing on the first planet you find yourself up against and new alien race. Whom you shoot, and kill. The game makes a small attempt at giving you a choice, but you really didn’t have a say. The world is having huge electrical storms, after I’d say an hour of wondering you get to a computer room, reboot the planet. hey presto the storms stop, surprise attack by the new alien race, and you’re back on your ship. But this time we have a bunch of reason and bullshit to give you an arbitrary title “Pathfinder!”. This gives you supposed authority.

We get to the Nexus. Quickly learn we are the only Ark that has arrived. Your told about a uprising on the Nexus, and how a large amount to the populace has become “Exiled”. You’re tasked with making planets safe to populate, and look for the missing Arks. 5 hrs in, we have finally been given a goal.

Ignorance Is Bliss

So the eagle eyed amongst you may have notice the date which they set off. They set off 2 years after the first reaper attack. This is rarely brought up, not an issue, no big deal. Let’s just crack on.

Now, I understand that hitting people with even more exposition right out of the gate would slow the pacing down. But at least have more than a handful of people mention it. It was a big deal, so big in fact it had a trilogy.

Face Ache

Something this game doesn’t do well, it’s introduce characters aside from Peebee, Liam and Vetra. Peebee because she’s fun, Liam because he is chill and doesn’t bug you every 3 mins, and Vetra interesting and pragmatic. I like pragmatic. Everyone else is an annoyance. Talking to you like shit, or just boring. I appreciate that this is a personal thing, but I didn’t have this with the other games. A couple of folk bugged me, but that became their charm.

Everyone you meet in this game, wants something from you, and more often than not its a pointless mission. Your mission journal will be bursting at the seams within minutes of stepping foot anywhere. They are ranging from, take this to X planet for me, or talk to X person on X planet. Your reward for these missions in mostly nothing…yep, nothing, you receive nothing.

Nothing, is also input you add to the narrative also. When having a conversation with some boring, poorly written Angaran. You sit and listen to all the shite that he’s talking, waiting for your response list. Only to find, the responses on offer, don’t veer the conversation in a different direction, or even have an effect on future missions. All to often I was trying to walk away from conversations because I’d already reached my personal threshold for fetch quests. Only for the NPC to give me the mission anyway…

At the loading screen (which you’ll see more than your children), the game says to pay attention and think about your responses because it can effect certain things. I honestly haven’t notice. Over 60hrs and haven’t noticed.

Ground control

Player agency is a big part of what made Mass Effect so good. This game is missing it. The first 40 or so hours I spent feeling completely and utterly bored. The main quest was making some worlds safe, and doing pointless fetch quests for no reward. I felt fatigued, and as though I’m wasting my life.

I did one mission, as a stand alone fetch quest. I had to go from the Nexus to Eos. Leaving the Nexus caused a loading animation, enter the galaxy map, click on the system you wish to travel to, another loading animation. Click the planet to land on, loading animation. 3 mins to complete mission, then loading screen to leave planet, loading screen to leave system, loading screen to land back at the Nexus. Reward? Nothing, but boredom.

This boredom only made the minor annoyances boil and rise to the top. For instance, the facial animations, whilst I can accept that not every game is going to look beautiful, or even have perfect animation. We over look flaws when we are enjoying an experience. This game has many flaws, which I would normally overlook.

System Check

First off the character creation feels very limited, so much so, that I would recommend you just take the default design of either sex. I feel the facial animation for these would most likely work better. But when your in the middle of what the story is trying to make an emotional crisis point, and your character has a massive smurky pout on his face, it kinda undermines everything. Again, something I would overlook to a degree if I was engaged. But the dullness, makes these things stand out.

I’ve been booted back to my landing site 3 times, whilst I was trying to finish a Remnant level.

The scale of your ship the tempest is wrong. Whilst you’re inside running around, you get an idea of scale. You land on a planet, and stand next to your ship…nope, nope that ship is too small. Just look at where your cockpit should be.

I had to be told on Mass Effect: Andromedas Facebook page, how to set my helmet off, when on a planet.

During in game cut scenes characters that are talking are often not even there. Automated in game cut scenes kick in during combat, and you are still getting shot. I’ve dies twice, immediately after a cut scene because of this very issue.

Re-spawning enemies. I was fighting on a ramp. Killing remnant, they made a push. I’d killed most of them, but a Destroyer was left. I turned and ran down the ramp to get cover. Turned around…no Destroyer. Walked up the ramp, and every thing was back again. Nope! I’m not happy you stupid game.

Awful dialogue. Most often you have no impact on the conversations you’re in. This is the biggest game breakers for myself.

The auto-cover system is a frustrating fucker too.

Team Tactics

Multiplayer is basically the same as the last game, mediocre horde mode. This has no affect on the main game, expect for unlocking some cash and bonus weapons.

It’s the multiplayer were we meet microtransactions. I walked away from multiplayer after a brief look. more pay to win shite.

Final Destination

The final 10 hours of this game is where the stakes seem to be picking up and you finally feel that you have a goal. You’re actually making progress towards something. For me it was to little to late, especially with the end boss. It was terrible, I felt no urgency other than that of me thinking “just get this done”.

The game struggles with it’s size. It’s flabby, to full of pointless shit which drags the game out. If the game was more concise, trim 40 hours off the run time. It would be better. It wouldn’t have felt so pointless.

The graphics are nice, the sound design is great. But I want my Mass Effect game to have choice, and consequence. Neither are on offer here.

Did the review feel long winded? could have been said in just this paragraph. Welcome to Mass Effect: Andromeda

PROS

• Pretty Graphics
• Great sound design
• You’ll learn sudoku

CONS

• To long for the story it tried to tell
• Poorly written
• Zero feel of player agency
• Side missions

Verdict

6.3/10

The post Mass Effect: Andromeda appeared first on Show Me Games - Independent Gaming Site, and Community.

Halo Wars 2

• Developers: 343 Industries, Creative Assembly
• Publisher: Microsoft Studios
• Genre: Real Time Strategy
• Platforms: Xbox One (Reviewed), Microsoft Windows
• Release Date: 21st February 2017
• Microtransactions: Yes

Build, Shoot. Ooh-Rah!! Repeat

American Gods

Neil Gaiman has been my favourite author for a good number of years. I’ve enjoyed his body of work throughout the two mediums he has been the most celebrated for (his original script for RoboCop 2 doesn’t quite make my Top 10 I’m afraid). In my opinion American Gods is an absolute triumph in terms of being a culmination of ideas and philosophies he has developed over the decades and allows you to question your own ideologies in ways you never thought you would.

Now, I know right away that many of you will be thinking “has Darren uploaded the wrong review in the wrong section (again)” so I’d best explain. While playing through Halo Wars 2 campaign mode I was afforded ample opportunity to be reacquainted with an old favourite and as it took up as much of my time as playing the game I’m reviewing I thought it only fair to give it acknowledgement.

Essentially it’s a nice way to segway into the review for the game because it instantly sets up your expectations for the bulk of what you’re paying for and helps me to put across many of my concerns in a simplistic manner.

And also because I genuinely believe that more people need to be reading Neil Gaiman’s writings.

So with that out of the way, what did I really think of the game overall?

Put Your Skills To The Test-osterone

I’m gonna make a confession straight away for clarity and fairness. I’m not a huge Halo fan. And not for the reason that many of you would expect, it’s way more bitter than the usual anti-Master Chief rantings that litter message boards. Back in the day Halo 3 was the very first Xbox game that I legitimately 100 percented. Every achievement, every collectable, every Grunts head turned into a party popper because, why not. I felt content and an enormous sense of pride. Then DLC was released and new achievements were added and the completion of the Herculean task I had undertaken was spat on from a great height. Given the absurd difficulty of some of the new achievements added there was exactly zero chance of regaining what I had so cruelly had taken away. Halo owed me.

Since that time I have never really delved into the campaign modes of future releases favouring instead to collect a library of “you won’t believe this sticky bomb kill I just got” videos to impress exactly nobody. So this is my first opportunity to jump back into the rich lore of the Halo Universe, drink a 6 pack of “Alpha Male Juice” (no, not that kind), and blow up the indigenous populations of planets unlucky enough to have me pay a visit.

And as you’ve probably already guessed, hells tits can it be a chore at times.

It’s not that it’s poorly developed or that it’s particularly bad in any department it’s just that way too many aspects of it are mind meltingly repetitive and this is from someone who is a devoted achievement grinder. The main story isn’t exactly fresh nor does it venture down unexpected avenues but that’s hardly a negative as Halo does have a tried and tested narrative that raises few complaints from either avid fans or detractors. But it’s the delivery of the story that had me reaching for the remote desperately trying to find a setting lower than mute. The dialogue from the male characters during cutscenes and the utterings of the marines at your disposal (every. single. time you have to click on them) contains enough testosterone to produce sex changes by osmosis purely from holding the joypad in your hands. They come out with the kind of lines that would have been cut from an 80’s action film for being too unnecessarily macho and instead would be used by Borderland 2’s Mr Torque as a way to lampoon those type of Hulkamania/Commando characters. The truly uninspiring villains seem to blurt out the same threats of violence against their minions with every encounter and are about as fleshed out as a mid 90’s wrestling bad guy.

Even if you do find a way to stomach the dialogue you then have to get past the often tedious task of building. Most missions follow the same line: clear an area, establish a base, build upon it, create troops, send them merrily to their deaths, wait around while your energy stocks are sufficient enough to create more willing target dummies to charge mindlessly at the enemy’s guns. More often than not you will have to sit around and wait (and wait) for your power and supply reserves to recharge enough for you to be able to add to your base, or regenerate slaughtered units, or rebuild turrets as the enemy closes in to bring ruin to your HQ, anyone who has a particular interest in watching numbers slowly increase or circular dials refill will be well within their element. For a game that does lean on it’s moments of action effectively these parts of the game quickly start to grate on your nerves as there can be little else to do while you wait. Yes, you can scout other parts of the map to try and find all of the hidden collectables but as soon as you leave line of sight of your HQ you’ll often find that all hell breaks loose around it and your attention needs to be drawn back to it.

Wargames

But it can’t be said that these two points make the campaign mode unplayable. Essentially it is well developed in a number of departments, crucially one of which is the controls. I’d recommend to anyone that they do quickly go through the tutorials as even though the controls are fairly instinctive a lot has been done to make what could be complicated simplistic. Later missions that could be problematic with a lesser control system give you a chance to control your units in a way that will allow you to attack, scout, and defend in a playing style that best suits you. Having too many button combos or commands in tense situations would swiftly become irritating and very confusing.

The range of units available to you is also impressive, despite looking limited at first glance. Every unit has a use and are effective when used correctly but they are also forgiving if called upon to take up tasks that they are not designed for. No marines aren’t particularly useful at taking on units of Wraiths but they will slow them down enough for other units to get into the fray. This adaptability again allows you to approach missions in a way that either best suits you or excites your imagination. Yeah, it might take a while to build them but who doesn’t want to send a nest of Scorpions off to slaughter a pocket of Grunts for example?

Graphically the game delivers, mostly in the cutscenes. The face rendering of Isabel alone is exceptional and her facial expressions add a much needed sense of sympathy for the characters compared to the aforementioned rough edges of the marines. The cinematic cut scenes draw you in and succeed in keeping your attention through the tried and tested method of quick cuts and explosions. Although it isn’t especially needed for the in game graphics to be ground breaking they are sharp enough so as not to become a mess during vast comings together of multiple units engaging in combat.

How To Make Friends and Blow Them Up

The real lasting appeal of the game though lies within the online modes. You almost feel that this was always at the forefront of the developers minds and the campaign mode serves as a way of protecting them from the backlash that often hit games without one to truly explore. Although the different modes don’t really offer much in variety they have a disarming charm that will appeal to you and draw you in even though you won’t always know why. Games like Rocket League have proven that ease of access and simple pick up and play mechanics are very much in at the moment and Halo Wars 2 capitalises on it well. Although there is a certain element of “pay to win” with micro-transactions leering their ugly heads the more patient amongst you will find that simply playing for the enjoyment and finding gains from losing will quickly rank up units and unlock more weapons of mass destruction without having to decide if you really do need to eat this week.

The options of selecting different commanders, each with different tactical advantages, and the ability to build your own “deck” of units is a resounding win in the personalisation stakes. Being a wargamer of another variety I’ve always enjoyed tweaking lists of units so as to maximise the synchronicity of my army. Halo Wars 2 gives you as much of a choice in this aspect as it does for the “I WANT ALL THE TANKS” gamers. You’ll initially want to play the second way but I doubt most gamers will be able to resist the chance to see what happens when you tinker and test.

It’s also nice to see that, as of time of writing, the only DLC advertised in the game is the free download of an additional commander to build a deck of units around. Most noticeable because of how rare such a notion is nowadays, especially when relating to AAA releases.

War is Like Love, It Always Finds a Way

In conclusion I have to say I’m torn about my overall feelings towards the game. While it can’t be said that the campaign mode is particularly bad the moments where it becomes tedious can be too often and do cause you to seek other distractions while counters slowly tick upwards and units perpetually announce their introduction with stag night style verbal  interactions. But when the action does ramp up it can be as equally heart pounding as your mind races to calculate what is needed to survive and succeed and how to attain it.

While lacking variety the online modes are just fun and do exactly what those seeking them out would want them to do. I do feel those coming late to the online mode will potentially be overwhelmed and frustrated by vastly superior forces, but that is a pitfall that befalls gamers in most online modes.

It isn’t a game that will be for everyone. This is as Marmite a game release as you’re likely to see until the next Assassin’s Creed. If this is your style of game I urge you to buy it solely for the fact that consoles are criminally lacking in variety of game styles so every variation needs to be encouraged. If this is not your style of game but you’re curious then I urge you to have a distraction handy for the slow parts or tears of unbridled frustration as you swear at displays showing how long you have to wait for ‘X’ to happen is likely.

Overall- “The two most Powerful Warriors Are Patience and Time”

PROS

• Intuitive, easy to master control system that doesn’t overwhelm or hinder no matter how much chaos ensues
• Cinema quality cut scene animations that help drive the story and truly empathise with the bulk of the characters. A rarity
• An adaptive online experience that allows you to be as creative or destructive as you desire.

CONS

• Enough cheesy “real man” dialogue to make the entire 1980’s decade wince with embarrassment
• The textbook definition of Repeat Ad Nauseum with disturbing regularity
• Although an original plot wasn’t exactly a requirement the Villains offer zero to the proceedings and their motivations will be forgotten swiftly.

Verdict

8/10

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